Missing your calling, missing your dream, regretting it forever. Everyday and every breath reminds me of when I quit SEAL training. Being Navy Seal was my dream. The hope of wearing the trident was my drive and the source of peace, the place I believed I belonged.
When I was a kid, I was small and picked on a lot. The feeling this gave me was the drive behind why I wanted to be a seal. I wanted to protect the little person, the underdog. This is what drew me to certain personalities. People who struggled with circumstances in their lives. They would open up to me and trust me. This is where I found who I wanted to be. I wanted to help people. I wanted to protect people.
This same drive also fueled my desire for a family, but with a more selfish intent. I was looking for a family out of what it could provide for me, mainly the love and attention I did not receive from other in my life.
My calling, my life, and my dream now is to be the best father for my daughter. For me to be the best, I need to be better. Every moment, in the present, seeking God’s will, trusting Him with a fixed view of future goals, but flexible to follow God where He might lead.